What I Hear Often
A lot of people who come to therapy are, on most fronts, doing fine. They manage demanding jobs, juggle social commitments, and seem to have everything held together. Yet, there tends to be this one thing, a pressure point of sorts, that seems to cause a kind of reaction that throws logic out the window, a pattern in their lives that cannot seem to be explained away, or a part of them that cannot be rationalised with.
These reactions aren't abnormal. In fact, they make us human. The body is doing exactly what it's designed to do, and that is to protect us from danger. However, some responses continue to show up even after the threat has passed, even when the present-you know better, and sometimes these old patterns of protection end up blocking us from living more meaningful and purposeful lives.
Sometimes, the body continues living in the past, even as our lives move forward from the present into the future.
Making Sense of It
When we take away the glamourising and sensationalising of the word 'trauma', what are we left with?
Trauma is relative to the individual. It's less about the event itself than it is about what it leaves behind in you. There is no appropriate amount of hurt that could leave a traumatic wound. And these wounds tend to manifest as patterns of behaviour or thought that seek to protect you from future harm. These patterns continue to exist despite logic and reason, even when we understand why some things had to happen the way they did, and even if they might be hurting our present circumstances.
Trauma shows up in the body before it shows up in our minds. It could be that sense of unease that prevents you from feeling fully present. It could look like zoning out during moments of stress. It also shows up in relationships: in how much you trust, how close you let people get, how you move through conflict, or why certain people or moments bring up strong intense feelings you cannot seem to manage.
Processing traumatic experiences isn't about using logic to understand your behaviour or rewrite your history. It's about recognising that your responses are completely normal and human, and healing the wounds that might have gone unnoticed. Part of healing through trauma is allowing ourselves to release the hold that it has on us, while rebuilding a sense of safety that might not have been provided to us when we needed it most.
Our Work Together
Trauma work doesn't mean going back and talking through everything that has happened. It's about building safety and increasing resilience to weather present challenges that may trigger old patterns. Our work together moves at a pace that feels safe enough for you, while building up the tools you need to eventually approach distressing material without feeling overwhelmed by it.
This includes somatic and parts-based approaches, attending to how the body holds different experiences and working with the parts of you that find yourself in conflict. Where it's helpful, EMDR (eye-movement desensitisation and reprocessing) may be used in session to increase your resilience to distress, and eventually help you make sense of past memories to fit better with who you are today.
In our sessions together, you'll learn to hold space for vulnerability and tenderness alongside safety and strength, as you build on and heal the relationships you have with yourself.
What if there might be a safer way of being?
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